Testosterone:
How Prostate Cancer Made a Man Out of Me
One out of six men runs the risk of developing prostate cancer. Not very good odds, and for playwright and performer Hal Ackerman this statistic isn’t just a number, for him it’s personal.
In his play Testosterone: How Prostate Cancer Made a Man Out of Me, Ackerman draws from his own experience fighting this disease and offers a vivid and touching portrayal of the challenges men face with frank humor and endearing self-reflection. Disarming from the start, Ackerman performs his play (originally written and published as a short story) and opens with his “manologue” speaking to the audience directly and seamlessly reliving the memory of describing what a penis is to his inquisitive five-year-old daughter. She is quite certain that Mr. Rogers doesn’t have one because “he’s too nice.” And so begins the journey of a man that somehow finds the humor in being poked, prodded, zapped and eventually turned into a “chemical eunuch” and discovers along the way it takes much more than a penis to be a man and it takes a helluva a lot more than prostate cancer to bring the man down.
From the first exam, Ackerman charms the audience with his machismo denial, (a divorced writer with a healthy sexual appetite) and as the reality of his situation sinks in so too do the walls of his character come down; fear, doubt, selflessness, and the mania that comes when trying to protect his teenage daughter from the truth and the woman he is involved with only by circumstance all come together through the erudite curiosity of a writer and the self-deprecation of a man emasculated by the treatment.
Tackling some very real issues goes far beyond life or death and relationships however. What is life for a man if you’re going to be wearing diapers and have a limp dick? These are just some of the questions Ackerman raises, and while he never suggests there is one journey for all men, the individual experience does shed light on some very universal fears. The growing number of men that may be faced with this disease can take some heart and much needed laughter at an otherwise serious health issue.
For any man that has undergone the obtrusive rectal exam to the spit and fire of the biopsy that Ackerman compared to an “oozing bratwurst” to the interminable wait of hearing foreboding numbers while remaining calm throughout it all, “I schedule a biopsy when I can’t sleep at night,” Ackerman punches through the scenes with hysterical references. The dreaded fingers of the doctor are a huge rubber claw, the Igor-like radiologist; even the phone looms larger as the indifferent messenger of good or bad news. Ackerman didn’t just write this from the gut. Instead he goes all balls out, finding his heart and his manhood still intact by the play’s conclusion.
A co-chair at the UCLA screenwriting program, Ackerman is a far more accomplished writer than a performer. But the lack of polish here lends his show an honesty that is far more inspirational than a veteran actor strutting about. Ackerman is a joy to watch, even through some of his foibles, and it is these moments that are the most interesting. Ackerman displays a raw vulnerability beyond the text, beyond the character’s struggle that gives him a sense of humanity. The Everyman is onstage, and the only thing that makes his performance uncomfortable to watch is the knowledge that all of us will probably have someone close to us experiencing the same journey as Ackerman.
“Testosterone: How Prostate Cancer Made a Man Out of Me”
The Powerhouse Theatre
3116 2nd Street
Santa Monica, CA 90405
Runs through: May 10
Fri and Sat at 8pm
Sundays at 4pm